Nothing...!!!

Monday, September 14, 2009, 4:18 AM:
So...? So this is the last thing I saw at the extreme bottom right corner of my laptop screen post watching the late night show "Mere Papa The Great" (hope people still remember that last attempt made by T-Series to re-launch Kissen Kumar as an actor), followed by one Tele Marketing show selling one plastic made “Nazar Suraksha Kawach” (at least that’s how it looked on my screen), for a “subsidized” price of Rs 2375/- only. Only? Yep that’s what the Anchor told. What? Yeah I got your point, don’t worry I am not going to own it personally. Phir? Okay let me make myself clear, it was not the Kawach that caught my Nazar, it was the beautiful Anchor on the screen. Exactly!!! You got it right, even I feel the same, its not I who needs it, but she:-D. Our wavelength matches…Gimme "HI5" :) Ya ya I kno I kno…phir bhi …just giving you a chance to think for a while…then I will say…Socho…Socho (Parag Kansara, from GILC fame, Style) But kya aa? Okay FINE…I cannot wait for you to talk…but I know you must be thinking…yaar itne bhor saber…mooh andhere…yahan kya kar rahe ho tum? (Translation: Buddy so early morning…mouth dark…here what doing (rahe ho) you…Question Mark) Chillax…mitr (translation: friend) have to reach office early today…and it’s already too late to sleep…so thought of bugging you tiny-minee incy-wincy bumble bee…by writing something (forgive me…in case I drool away in sleep…as we move)

So mitr aap per ek web daineeki phenk raha hoon…krupiya aan maan chod koodi maar kar pakadiyega (Translation: Friend with due respects throwing one blog on you…please humbly jump and catch) OK OK before this statement pops another question in your mind…gimme a chance to explain…Pls I insist…Thanks…the only reason behind showing so much respect iss…2nd I respect Ladies…3rd I respect men who are wooed by women…4th I respect myself…do not belive me…? kabhi aap humare khwabon mein aa kar dekho (Translation: With due respects YOU come to my dreams some day)…main aapko jaise tu nahin bolta…waise heen main khud ko “hum” bulata hoon (Transalation: As I don’t call “with due respects” you as YOU…same way I call I as “I”)…Whatever?? I told you…in the last line in the above para…bee with me as we move…in the whole chit chat I missed my 1st and the only most important reason…and i.e. Nothing…wo kehate hain na…neend jab darwaaze (Aankon ke) se andar aatee hai…aapke andar ka lekhak khidki (Dimag ki) se bahar chala jata hai (Translation: As they say…the moment sleeps enter through the door (of eyes)…the writer inside you jumps out of the window (of brain)…) So the writer inside me is already standing on the window…all set to jump…so before he goes into hibernation…and anything important is lost…and I end up/start beating around the bush…with what will be left …lets come to the main point…And the point is…why I am writing a blog…that too suddenly…out of nowhere…or even worse that too…post watching “Mere Papa The Great”…ya gotch Ya…I know what are you thinking…Dear Friend, lets release the stress first, then we will talk abut what is making you stressed…come on do with me…apni aankhein moondiye…shareer dheela chodiye…phir lambee saans andar…aur dheere se chod dijiye…(Translation: kindly close your eyes…relax your body…take a deep breath…and slowly release)…once more…lambee saans andar lijiye…aur dheere se chod dijiye (Translation: take a deep breathe…and release)…once more…inhale and release…Aahaa…I can see that wicked smile on your face….you naughty mind…chod ne ka bole to…? Saanse…kitne shaitan ho yaar (Translation: release means…? Breathe…how naughty you are) if you do it other way round…then God Save the Queen… (QUEEN??? the writer just leaned a bit more out of the window)…I hope all forms of stress are released now…so to bring you out of any state of doubt…Chillax…I am not going to write a preview abt the above said movie…aap khud heen dekh lo (Translation: Help Yourself)
So what am I supposed to crapp…? Gud Question…Any Quick Guess…? No, I’ m NOTT going to write about the problems in my life, my life is as gud as yours…HI5…Ohh C’mon…If I was supposed do that…I’d rather sit with you or call you as to inform what I did the whole day…Think Again…Aww!! You are somewhat close…but that thing I have kept for future…the time when I myself will enter Politics…then we will discuss about the plus and minuses of Indian Constitution…besides, we already have elected our representatives…so its us who should be blamed…for not voting itself, keep aside electing the so called guardians of our constitution…the only thing about “it” that I am going to mention out here in this blog iss…please go and register yourself in http://www.jaagore.com/ . Then what? Okay wanna try again…? Ummmm…NO I am not going to add any more links out here, as to help you with any opening in PSUs…we already have many dot com companies, to take care of…No neither ma I going to share any secret recipe of mine with you out here…but you must agree…today afternoon’s chicken was just ultimate. Well Okay…wat you told…would have been possible…but for that a sunrise is a must…then only I would be able to describe…the view of the mountain…in front of our apartment…trust me the feeling is so heavenly…but still …since you insist…will give you a brief description abt it…it’s the part of the only national forest… in India or if my statistics are not wrong even in Asia…that is right in the heart of the city…Don’t believe me...? well see it to believe it…

Oh the writer is hung to the window with the support of only his index finger…YAWN!!!....so where were we…yup won’t push you any further…you almost got it correct…I AM going to talk or to be more precise “describe” or lest say share my experience about the place where I currently reside…Oh Phulleessee…I am not talking about this fully furnished (with a/c) flat where I stay…and trust me its no different than my office…off course not infra structure wise…but because I cannot leave this place without serving a bond of minimum 1 year…neither am I going to talk about the mountains and peaks…for main kisi kalakaar ya kavi k pate per laat nahin maarna chahta (Translation: Save Animals)…don’t ask me how?...but YESS I for sure is going to talk about something…which anybody who is not a part of this place will die to or kill for or love to…Hear About…I am going to share observations about the lovely people who represent this place…yes Aamchi Mumbai (Our Mumbai)..the MUMBAIKARS…!!!
But… ZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz….in my next column….AAarrrghhh…!!! The Writer is no more…(On the window)